Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ask The Scout: Dave Littlefield

Every so often, Cubs' scout Dave Littlefield will answer a question from one lucky Cubs' fan. Here is today's question:

Dale (Chicago, IL): Dave, can you update us on any efforts by the Cubs organization to scout internationally? There's a lot of baseball talent outside North America.

Littlefield: Supposedly, this is the new fad in baseball. I know Hendry keeps talking all this bullshit about how we need to expand our scouting department and have a larger influx of international talent in the Cubs organization. He says we need to keep adding guys like Kosuke Fukudome to our roster.

Well, I’m much smarter than other baseball executives, so I’ve been one step ahead of the curve. Thus far my duties with the Cubs have been limited, but I take pride in going above and beyond the call of duty to serve my team. That’s why I’ve been attending the Thursday night games in the Benihana parking lot, where those same chefs who specialize in fine Japanese cuisine play their Benihana league games after the restaurant closes for business. The baseball isn’t always pretty, but let’s be realistic here, they’re playing on a fucking parking lot. Not exactly the best surface in the world.

Anyways, one night near closing time, I was scouting a Benihana league game, and out of the restaurant comes Hendry and his family. I guess they had a late dinner and were the last customers to leave. Anyways, by that time the game was well underway, and Hendry sees me and comes over. He asks me what the hell I’m doing, and I say, “Hey Jim, just looking for the next Fukudome. You’ve been saying how we need to develop more international players, so here I am, scouting the best the Japanese have to offer.” Well, Hendry then gives me this incredulous look. He then tells me that the Japanese have their own league in Japan, and I just laugh in his face. “Have you not heard of the term ‘America’s game,’ Jim?” I said to him. “That’s what baseball is! America’s game! They don’t play baseball in Japan! It’s not Japan’s game!"

At this point, Hendry muttered something under his breath and started walking to his car. I think I heard the word “moron” and the phrase “no wonder the Pirates sucked all these years.” Well, joke’s on him. Hendry actually thinks Fukudome came from Japan! Everyone else in baseball knows that Fukudome worked as a chef at Benihana’s before he came to the major leagues. And that’s where you find those great Japanese ballplayers. At the Benihana league games on Thursday nights. Here’s the best part: I never see any other scouts there, so the Cubs will have first dibs on the best prospects. And it’s all thanks to me.


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