Monday, May 19, 2008

Ten Things I Would Have Taken In a Trade for Evan Meek

With the recent news that the Pirates sent “cash considerations” to the Rays in order to keep Evan Meek, it got me to thinking…

Ten things I would have taken in a trade for Evan Meek, if I were Rays GM Andrew Friedman:

1. A slice of leftover cheese pizza

2. A sleeve of crappy Maxfli golf balls (you know, the shitty ones you can find at Wal-Mart for $9.99 per dozen balls)

3. Baseball autographed by Jacob Brumfield

4. Baseball autographed by Turner Ward

5. Baseball autographed by Adam Hyzdu

6. One (1) general admission ticket to a Pittsburgh Passion football game

7. The rights to Altoona Curve manager Tim Leiper, who as a former .273 hitter in the major leagues could very well be one of the top prospects in the Pirates minor league system—behind Andrew McCutchen, Neil Walker, and Steve Pearce

8. A handle of the world’s shittiest vodka, Burnett’s Vodka (which, I should add, was a favorite of mine back in my earlier drinking days… it was cheap, okay?)

9. One of Don Cherry’s hideous suits

10. Colby Armstrong (to improve team chemistry in the Rays locker room)

I’m quite sure that our readers can think of a few other things.


Anonymous said...

A few Quaker State wings would suffice right now. Didnt get a big lunch today.

Anonymous said...

I would demand only the best for a prospect like Meek. Like John Van Benschoten.

Anonymous said...

Unless u assholes can play baseball at a professional level, cut the guy some slack. The average major-leaguer spends 4-5yrs in the minors, making crappy pay, living on the road away from family/friends; all for the chance to play in the BIGS. Evan is living his dream and can throw 90mph+ heat. What do u douche-bags do for a living?
Sorry for the language, but unless you have been there and done that, you can't criticize! You don't know what the hell you are speaking about cause you are way too busy selling women's shoes. Plus, don't blame Evan, the Pirates have been in a slump long before he came along!
PS - I love responding just so I use the word DOUCHE-BAG!

Dave Wannstache said...

Hahaha... we now know that Evan Meek reads this blog. He goes by "Blair."

Listen man, if you haven't already noticed, we like to toss around a bit of humor every now and then. Lighten up.

Hey, you know what though, you're right... what are we thinking, criticizing ball players when none of us have ever played. I mean, all those people who lambasted Derek Bell for pulling "Operation Shutdown", they had absolutely no right criticizing him. Whatever, buddy. Like I said, lighten up.

Stanley said...

Blair, you're right Evan can throw a ball really really hard. And that would be utterly worthless unless people really really cared about the sport and the team. He's an entertainer and has a shot to make milions of dollars. I hope he does. Don't bite the hand that feeds him. Douchebag.

Pat said...

If I've learned anything in the past 24 hours, it's that the fiestiness level of Pirates fans is nearing an all-time high. I love it. We should be fiesty. Fiesty as all hell.

Anonymous said...

Meek, one appearance 18.00 ERA at AA

I think he has potential to become good just needs some seasoning. Hilarious post though, other than making me hungry as all hell, between the pizza and the mention of wings.

Anonymous said...

David..Wanns whatever ! i'm pretty sure Evan doesn't read this blog but I'm glad blair spoke up for him ! I'm sure people would trade you for a lot of these things too.. at least he IS worth something ! and will be worth even more in the future ! So go eat your leftover pizza while Evan doeshis thing with the Pirates ! Don't think anything you say can change where he is today !!!