Friday, November 9, 2007

Oh, How it Burns

Rather than rationally assess the problems of the struggling Pens, I am going to suggest a number of quick-fix solutions that are sure to never happen.

- resign Ron Tugnutt
- put Laraque on a line with Crosby
- put Mike Yeo on a line with Crosby
- always put Orpik first in the shootout
- fine Malkin for every pass he makes that is not from his knees or behind his back
- appoint Jordan Staal the team's new social chair
- encourage Max Talbot to become the Jeff Reed of the NHL
- put Therrien on a line with Crosby
- tell Colby Armstrong that the Sens are on the schedule for 82 games this year
- tell Mark Recchi that it is 1991
- get Mario in the weightroom

Prepostorous suggestions? Obviously. But what other suggestions are there for this team? I could make real suggestions, but none of them would be confidently asserted. It's a frustrating situation, to be sure.

Here is a pick me up: the Steelers are the number one brand in sports. Accordingly, we should all go out and get branded. See you in the cow field.
End of Post

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