Thursday, August 9, 2007

Quit Your Day Job, Stick To Cooking

If you enjoy disagreeing with various sports writers, now is your chance.

And for those of you out there that enjoy disagreeing with women, now is the most legit chance you'll ever get.

Recently posted on PittsburghPirates.com was an article (the worst article I've ever read) by Jenifer Langosch

(this girl)

"Hello, I know more about Pirates baseball than you do!"

WARNING: IF you suffer from heart problems, please don't read this article.

"Manto working magic on Bucs"
Yes ...this is the same Manto that serves as your Pittsburgh Pirate's hitting coach.

-The same Manto that coaches Jason Bay, Ronny Paulino, and Chris Duffy on hitting.

-The same retard who can't even coach a single player over the .300 mark this season (not including Josh Phelps and his 25 ABs).

-The same shithead that has taught Pirate hitters the meaning of "digression".

What makes the article even worse is that it includes "Ronny Paulino" alongside "magic" and "Jeff Manto". Forget the fact that Ronny Paulino has hit 3 HRs since the start of this month...Paulino still couldn't hit a beachball if it were thrown on on the outer half of the plate.

This quote in particular, regarding Paulino's swing, had me jumping off the wall.


"We* told him, 'Go back to covering middle-in,'" Manto said. "If they throw it away, they throw it away. You can't cover it all. The great hitters have learned to cover all three, and Ronny's learning to be a great hitter. The outside of the plate is a work in progress."

Way to sure up his weakness dipshit. A question for dumb and dumber...

Did you ever consider working on your weaknesses?

Manto must be fucking blind. If he thinks covering middle-in is going to help Paulino then he needs to go coach some Frontier League team. Any regular viewer of the Pittsburgh Pirates would realize that Ronny Paulino couldn't hit low and away to save his life. This is the MAJOR LEAGUES! The pitchers in this league can work the outside part of the plate all god damn day.

Once again the best part...and I'll block it off one more time for all the Manto's out there...

"If they throw it away, they throw it away. You can't cover it all. The great hitters have learned to cover all three, and Ronny's learning to be a great hitter."
You have got to be kidding me...

Oh yeah...and for that female sports writer. Let it be known, she's not a statistician.

"After a miserable stretch in July, the offense's overall numbers have been better lately: a .329 average to start off this month, a .378 average over the past five games with runners in scoring position and 13 home runs in the past eight games. Evidently, something's clicking."

Let's try to use a sample larger than 5 and 8 when referring to a 162-game season (Article written on on August 8th, which includes 5 games in August) ...........

...And unless you're talking about Harry Potter, coaching our Pittsburgh Pirates, lets just not talk about 'magic'...Its just not there.

* Jim Tracy included

End of Post

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Must be easy to post someone elses picture picture and name when they're just doing their job, but hide behind a fake name when you write your own articles.

Cory Humes said...

"Anonymous said...

Must be easy to post someone elses picture picture and name when they're just doing their job, but hide behind a fake name when you write your own articles."

This comment made me laugh. Do you see why?

As for Langosch -- I've e-mailed her a couple of times to clarify a few points in her articles, and she seems easy enough to get along with -- just doesn't always come off as the most knowledgeable writer on the Pirates' beat.

I guess that's to be expected, since she started mid-season and probably didn't give two shits about the Bucs before then.

Stanley said...

That also made me laugh. Maybe it was her?

I think the Manto article is more of a sign of how stupid the Pirates PR deptartment thinks we are. And I see your point Cory, but I feel it's more about knowing the audience you're writing to and less about knowing the Pirates. Hopefully she got enough negative response to understand we're tired of the positive spin on a horrible team.

tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson said...

Best. Title. Ever.