Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Ode to Pittsburgh Sports Blogs: A Symposium

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then the three bloggers mentioned here should hopefully come away feeling flatter (no, wait, we said that wrong). We picked these three because we read them the most, know their style the best, and have and simply love reading each blog. We’ll do this again in the future, so let us know if we should start reading your blog more carefully. We would have loved to actually do this in person (you know, for real), but seeing as we can barely get the staff of DoubtAboutIt on the same page, we figured it was better to fabricate a Pittsburgh Sports Blog Symposium rather than do a real one. Certain characteristics of the bloggers are, obviously, blown out of proportion.

DoubtAboutIt: Ladies and gentleman, Littlefields and Shero’s, welcome to the first annual Pittsburgh Sports Blog Symposium hosted by us, the contributors of Doubt About It! Today we are joined by some of Pittsburgh’s finest sports bloggers to investigate, debate, and jabber about the most pressing sports-related issues in the ‘Burgh. Lets throw it down to the lovely Trenni Kusnerik, who is at the red carpet watching the star bloggers arrive.

Trenni: Thanks guys! I'm so excited to be here, it's my chance to leave Potash and Harris lagging behind, doing the bitch work for Greg Brown. Alright, we have our first arrival, and it's Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson from Pittsburgh Sports and MiniPonies, arriving on an actual minipony!





Trenni: Next up are the writers of thePensblog, who are arriving via Zamboni...wait...what's this... the zamboni is literally being carried in by Sidney Crosby! The offseason workout plan appears to be working...





Trenni: Last, but certainly not least, Raul from Mondesi's House is being crowd surfed in by hoardes of his loyal supporters. Truly a site to behold.





Trenni: I have not had this much fun since I got plastered with the Pirates' pitching staff in 2003. Thanks for joining us today, guys. Let's send it back to DoubtAboutIt in the convention center!

DoubtAboutIt: Thanks Trenni. As agreed upon, Wannstache is yours for the night. Welcome everybody, lets get started! As we all know, there is only one thing on the mind of most Pittsburghers today, and that is Steeler’s training camp.

PSAMP: Actually, I think the Pittsburgh Passion have captured the hearts and minds of Pittsburghers to the point that they have forgotten about the Steelers, but I suppose that is debatable.

DAI: Yes, you certainly seem to have carved a small niche for yourself with the coverage of the Passion. Our writer Pat tries to do this often, trying to carve a niche for himself in the Pittsburgh blog scene by discussing random things like tennis or basketball, but it never works. Well done, Tecmo Bowl.

PSAMP: Thank you.

DAI: But back to Steelers training camp. We’ll start with a simple question – what are you most excited about?

Mondesi’s House: Mike Tomlin, Mike Tomlin, Mike Tomlin. If he falls flat on his face, then I can’t really keep using “The News” as my bread and butter, can I?

DAI: No, suppose you couldn’t. But hey, it would still be better than “Grim’s Gossip”, wouldn’t it?

ThePensBlog:
It should just be called
“The Gary Roberts Report: I’m not telling a story, I’m just breaking people’s noses in the corners”.


DAI: Ah, the fellas from the PensBlog! We knew you would manage to find your way into a Steelers discussion somehow!

PensBlog:
Yeah, that was a nifty little move we pulled there.
It was a beautiful harmony of motion…it was the dance…of champions.


DAI: Wow, break out the “One from the Heart” and “Against the Odds” videos kids, cause The Pens Blog are playing like champs today.

PensBlog:
But in order to truly be considered champions, they would have to do it…again.


DAI: Wow, consider our minds blown. You just used a quote from “Against the Odds” that doubled as your second quote and an affirmation of your champion-status. Surreal.

PensBlog:
We know.


DAI: But ok, really, Steelers Training Camp. Mondesi’s House wants to see how Mike Tomlin does. Any other thoughts?

PSAMP: I don’t know, I mean, how can you really top last summer? Joey Porter’s pit bulls killed a minipony. I mean…hello? That’s why I exist!

DAI: Hmm, fair point. Any interest in the Faneca thing? Big Ben’s theoretical senior year in the NFL? The always important picks for the practice squad?

MH: I was feeling ok about Roethlisberger until I saw this photo that a reader sent me.





PSAMP: Wow, that is a nice little minipony right there.

PensBlog:
Ben Roethlisberger. Un-Championlike.


DAI: Wow Mondesi, that certainly is shocking to see those two together. They are supposed to be feuding after all.

MH: Yeah, I was forwarded this photo from a mysterious character named Leonard Glenn. I’ve decided to call him LenGlen from now on. Hopefully he’ll provide the Pittsburgh sports blog scene with many more such gems in the future.

PensBlog:
Sounds like a jobber to us.


MH: A what?

PensBlog:
A jobber.

Jobbed


PSAMP: And so who all is a jobber?

PensBlog:
Everyone, including us, except Luke Ravenstahl.


DAI: And Pens Blog, that is why we love you. Now does anyone even want to talk about the Pirates today? We’ve got to admit, Pittsburgh sports blogs have done a damn good job of keeping up with the Pirates all summer when there wasn’t much else going on in the sports world. Mondesi, as always we enjoyed your Pirates movie.

PensBlog:
The one with that jobber Johnny Depp?


Not worth the time


DAI: No, the Pittsburgh Pirates: The Movie II.

MH: Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. You guys know as well as anyone that it has been hard to keep things fresh this summer with the Buccos. If it wasn’t for Ronnie Florian, I don’t know what I would have done there in the early going.

DAI: Yes, you created nothing short of a cultural phenomenon with your campaign to dig to the bottom of the genius that is Ronnie Florian.

PensBlog:
Ronnie Francis?

Euphoria in motion

DAI: No, Ronnie Florian – a man so committed to the Pirates that he believes any trip to the ball park could result in witnessing someone’s 3,000th hit.

PensBlog: Prediction: Gary Roberts will dole out 3,000 hits this year.

PSAMP: The Pittsburgh Passion lay 3,000 smack-downs a game!

MH: Ronnie Florian gave me 3,000 page views per hour!

PensBlog:
Gary Roberts is a war horse, with hands
of silk.

Smooth

DAI: Woah there, guys! Settle down! Wait…PensBlog, did you really just pull out another “Against the Odds” quote and substitute Gary Roberts in for Kevin Stevens? Wow. You always deliver.

PensBlog:


always on time


PSAMP: To answer your question, I don’t think anyone wants to talk about the Pirates.

DAI: But we need to at least address them somehow. Ok, real quickly, what do you think was their most embarrassing moment of the season so far?

MH: I can give you a list of 15 moments, since that’s the number of years we’ve been in this mess:
1. That the only national coverage they have received was the Sopranos parody.
2. Their We Will ad campaign has been lampooned by everybody
3. Jason Bay. Called strike three.
4. Salomon Torres calls out the management
5. Hans Klopek, I mean Adam LaRoche starting off the year as a bust

6. ...[Editors note: This is a lot tougher than we thought]

PensBlog:
That they attended a Pens game in Florida thinking they would feed off the young energy.


PSAMP: Any segment of the David Littlefield radio show could serve as the most embarrassing moment…or how about when I lost in the hot blogger bracket to a 40 year old dad?




DAI: See? Not so hard to talk about the Pirates! We personally would choose Oliver Perez appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated…ugh. But before PensBlog goes crazy, let’s get some hockey talk going. Is there any doubt that the Penguins are going to be the most exciting team in the NHL next year?

MH: Couldn’t be any more excited. You just have to marvel at the job Ray Shero has done. Crosby, Talbot, Christiansen, Armstrong, Sykora, Sydor, Therrien – all signed within a month! We should just let this world-class architect build the new arena himself.

Pensblog:
Game Number:
-

Jordan Staal Hat-trick.
Thats when the dynasty started to form.
Sick.


PSAMP: Can you imagine the child of Sidney Crosby and the Passions’ Lisa Horton dominating in every sport imaginable? So no, there is no doubt about it – the Pens will be hoisting Lord MiniPo…er, uhh…Stanley’s Cup in no time.

DAI: Not to play devil’s advocate here, but let’s say...

PensBlog:
The Devils are evil jobbers.

Whatever


MH: I’m starting to like this jobbers thing. I might run a contest where readers can send in a picture of their favorite jobber, with the winner getting a signed football from Chris Gardocki.

PSAMP: I wish the pit bulls had attacked Gardocki instead of the poor minipony.

MH: I know, but it is better than giving away anything Pirates-related.

PSAMP: You could have the winner take over Littlefield’s position - that would be a sweet giveaway.

DAI: One of our writers has already tried to infiltrate the Pirates organization. It is harder than it looks.

PensBlog:
You cannot penetrate the Penguins upper management, not without...


DAI: The brass of a riverboat gambler?

PensBlog:
But of course. This entire Pens season will be as if the civic arena roof had opened, and the hockey gods smiled down on Pittsburgh.


DAI: Damn, I could do this all day.

PensBlog: We mutter the lines in our sleep.

DAI: So does our staff writer Pat. But ok, real quick, before we close up, your favorite Ray Shero move of the off-season.

PSAMP: Hiring Fitzgerald, because Shero couldn’t give a crap that he once decimated the Pens as a member of the rat-throwing Florida Panthers – his bad karma will succumb to the will of the Shero.

MH: Its gotta be signing Crosby.

PensBlog:
Resigning G.R., aka God’s Robot, aka Gary Roberts.


DAI: Good choices all around! Let’s end on that Penguins-related high note and say thanks to Mondesi’s House, Pittsburgh Sports and MiniPonies, and ThePensBlog for participating in today’s symposium. Make sure to check out their blogs and don’t forget to check back soon where another Pittsburgh Sports Blog Symposium could spring up at any time. Who knows, it might even be a real one.

End of Post

4 comments:

tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson said...

/applause


I'm glad I participated. Had a fun time.

Sean said...

This was fantastic!

Vern said...

So I subscribed to the feed to give DAI a shot at making the regular rotation. This happened to be the first post I read, and seeing as the 3 blogs "symposed" are some of my favs, I suppose I have another new fav. Fantastic work.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.