Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Nookie Monster Revealed

Yes, that is him. The one who provides nookies for the entire State College Spikes' team. My brother and I approached him last night, figuring it would be a high school student, only to find the man under the mask was a bit older. I thought he would be displeased with us annoying him, but he couldn't have been happier. Honestly, he was probably the biggest fan the Spikes have. He sits back there all game, listening to the radio crew give him the play by play, not able to leave his cage.

I suppose they are afraid if unleashed onto the general public, he would start doling out nookies left and right. Can you imagine the horror? In order to keep him calm and satisfied, they allow him to emerge from his nook every time the Spikes score. I caught the sultry dance on tape.

I apologize for the shaky was rather difficult to keep myself composed. It was soon revealed over the PA system that all women in section 107 were now pregnant due to the Nookie Monster's dance, a promotion the Spikes run every Wednesday night.

As for the Spikes, they split a double-header. But the real reason everyone came to the game was a chance to see the Nookie Monster. And also for the free loaf of bread they gave to everyone exiting the game. Ok, mostly for the bread.

End of Post

No comments: