Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hey, You're Not Big Ben...

Remember the Big Ben impersonator? The guy who had a beer gut but still managed to convince a few women that he was a quarterback for the Steelers in order to date them? Well after he was sentenced in 2005 to 30 days in jail he got back at it again, shooting a bit more reasonably for Steelers' tight end Jerame Tuman. He managed to convince a woman to let him borrow a few thousand dollars from her, a surprisingly effective con. He was still caught, however, when the woman wrote the actual Tuman asking for her money back. Oops.

Well today he was sentenced to 90 days in jail with 5 years of probation. While in jail it may be tough to pull off his act, I wonder what Steeler he will pick next once he gets out. My best guesses:


Bam Morris: He now has an extended history in jail, giving his character more depth and ability to describe Bam's real life. Since Bam has also been out of the league for so long, his physical appearance carries much less weight. His troubles also guarantee a lot more pity. And more money.


Greg Warren: When is the last time you've seen Warren's face during the game other than when he botches a snap? The mistakes are few and far between enough that he could keep up the act for potentially the entire year. Also, the body types seem to fit a bit more.


Chris Gardocki: Recently released, the fake Gardocki would have every reason in the world to need money. Plus, his punts without a block streak would make any woman blush with anticipation.

Links: Post-Gazette

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