Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Doubt About It: Praises its Employees more than ESPN

If you haven't seen it yet, Deadspin got ahold of an ESPN complaint memorandum. It is pretty hilarious for numerous reasons, the two main ones being that 1) some of the questions are just bizarre and 2) some have to be jokes. It's pretty damn long, so for a brief overview, check out my favorite questions after the jump.
Some highlights from the questions...

"Why did it take so long to get Kenny Mayne back in the SportsCenter rotation? For a while there, I thought he was employed by Progressive Auto Insurance."
Great question, indeed. The world needs more Kenny Mayne.

"Is there or could there be an option to receive a pay check once a week instead of every other Thursday? Many of us live pay check to pay check. Being able to be paid every week would help tremendously." I'm thinking this was Chris Berman. With the amount of dough he throws around at women, he would live paycheck to paycheck.

"What qualities do you feel a Leader should possess?" No comment necessary. Just rather strange.

"Can we get an option for pet health insurance?" Probably Linda Cohn.

"Can ESPN put an espresso machine in the cafe for lattes and cappuccinos, (not the ones we have in our break room - an actual manned machine like at Starbucks)?"
Had to be Stephen A. Smith. He needs to keep his energy level up, and he is probably fruity enough to sip on a cappuccino.

"I know that it is human nature to find fault and seldom praise staff members. Everyone knows this is counter-productive. I would like to see improvements here. Do you agree everyone should be praised when they do a good job? Catch people doing something right?" Sounds like Neil Everett wants a little more credit for his home-run calls.

"Are Mike & Mike or is Bristol planning on hosting any major events like the wedding last May?" This absolutely had to be a joke, right? Right? They already host everything outside of the State of the Union. I can only imagine what that wedding was like.

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