Friday, July 6, 2007

Comedy Central Report, 7/6

Borrowing from the media’s name for the National League Central, the Comedy Central Report is a daily feature which recaps all the previous day’s games in which a central team played. Keep track of all six teams vying for the most mediocre division title in baseball.

Look at that perfectly trimmed beardline

Pirates take series, defeat Brewers 6-3

Recap: I hope everyone is ready to suck it up and give a huge "I'm Sorry" hallmark card to Mr. LaRoche. The outdoorsman hit two homeruns, his 12th and 13th, while Doumit added one as well, injuring Bill Hall in the process. The all-star snubbed Gorzo didn't have his best game, but as usual it was enough for the Pirates to get the win, only this time they actually had the offense.

All You Need to Know: The Pirates have now won the past 3 series and 5 out of the last 7. The sad part is that right when LaRoche decided it would be a good time to show up, Jason Bay checked out. Hopefully after the All-Star Break they'll both start to produce, giving us a decent heart of the order. As much as I want to see some glimmer of hope for this season, the only thing the Pirates are setting us up for is a second half of the season where they go 43-38, still lose the division by 10 games, and then repeat over and over during the offseason, "Hey! Look at our second half!".

Cubs Continue Climb, beat Nationals 4-2

Recap: I was perusing through the cbs.sportsline recap, and guess who they named player of the game for the Cubs. Daryle Ward! Daryle is a bit of a cult hero to a few of us at this site, as a blog devoted to him, (not there anymore), was one of the first blogs we ever read. If anyone is interested the original geocities site is still up which recaps the purpose of the site in the first place. There is also a rib on Jim Tracy who was LA's manager at the time. Great stuff.

All You Need to Know: The Cubs have moved within 4.5 of the Brewers, making this race interesting. It's my firm belief that if there is ever a tie in the standings the tie breaker should be a race between the novelty racing mascots of each team. So if we ever tied the Brewers, the Pierogies and Sausages would have to go at each other, no holds barred. In the Cubs' case, who have no racing mascots to the best of my knowledge, they would have to trot out Steve Bartman. They should at least do this for the meaningless spots in the standings, like 2nd place in the Central.

Cards slip past D'backs, 5-4

Recap: The Cardinals turned a season high 5 double plays, allowing Adam Wainwright to go 7 innings and get his 7th win of the season.

Cardinals Stat of the Day: It's becoming tougher and tougher to find negatives as the Cardinals continue to turn things around, but I have a stat that would make the people who run the jombotron at PNC Park proud. Albert Puljols has hit only 6 for 34 this year when the calendar date is a multiple of 7 (4/7, 4/14, 5/28, etc...).

Did you know Jason Kendall has hit safely on every 3rd Saturday of every day game in the month of June?

Astros fall to Mets 6-2
Recap: Jason Jennings lost his third in a row and the Astros couldn't find their bats against John Maine. My new favorite non-Pirate Hunter Pence went 1-4.

All You Need to Know: Houston is pretty boring these days. Not a whole lot of winning and no Roger Clemens to save them.

Reds Defeat Giants, 6-3

Recap: Bronson Arroyo pitched 6 and 2/3 innings for the win, chipping in a homerun against Matt Morris. Bonds was held homerless.

All You Need to Know: During the game a riverboat was playing loud music on the Ohio, loud enough that the umpires had to investigate. It eventually left, but it raised an interesting question. As anyone who has gone to PNC knows, sometime during the game the Gateway Clipper floats by and honks its awesomely loud horn. What happens if they blow the horn right when a batter is about to swing? Have they ever tried this? This could be the secret weapon we've been looking for.

Your Comedy Central Standings on July 6th, 2007:

End of Post

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