Monday, July 16, 2007

Comedy Central Report, 7/16

Borrowing from the media’s name for the National League Central, the Comedy Central Report is a daily feature which recaps all the previous day’s games in which a central team played. Keep track of all six teams vying for the most mediocre division title in baseball.

Doubt About It is the unofficial home for all Don Kelly apologists

Pirates start 2nd half strong, swept by Braves after 5-1 loss

Recap: A faint sense of optimism that had crept into the consciousness of a few Pirates fans has given way to that old familiar friend known as losing. I'm overreacting a bit, but still, the Pirates just can't seem to carry any type of momentum for an extended period of time. In this match, Maholm pitched relatively strong, but got in the way of Jose Castillo throwing over to first on a bunt, causing an overthrow. The bats were quiet, as per the norm of this season, only generating 4 hits. Castillo, other than the fielding error, played well I thought and appears to be the only one who wants to be on the field a lot of the time. With Baustia now on the DL Castillo should get a lot of playing time, which I find fabulous, I just wish it wouldn't have happened at the cost of Bautista.

All You Need to Know: The Pirates only scored 6 runs the entire weekend series, a veritable explosion compared to the 4 runs we scored in a series against the Cardinals in April. On the bright side, Doubt About It favorite Don Kelly was recalled from AAA. Although most people find Kelly's bat to be lacking, the contributors here appreciate his plate patience and ability to battle in an at bat. Two things hardly anyone in this organization excels at.

Brewers defeat Rockies 3-2

Recap: Kevin Mench delivered the go ahead RBI single in the 7th inning, giving the Brewers the series victory.

All You Need to Know: Because this game was a yawner, might I suggest the followsing activity if one happens to be in Milwaukee from September 7th-9th: the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival. My roommate in college was totally into cows, he was considered a child prodigy for memorizing the entire genetic histories of all holsteins in central PA, so i know what livestock can mean to people. The interesting thing about this event is that along with celebrating the animal, which I believe is the main purpose, they also teach you how to eat them. Yum.

Cardinals hand Phils 10,000th loss in team history, 10-2

The Cardinals made sure the 10,000th loss hurt just as bad as the 9,999 before it. Pujols hit 2 homeruns, with the Cards hitting a total of 4, to send the Phillies to another infamous record. Adam Wainwright provided the strong start.

Cardinals Stat of the Day: Somehow Tony La Russa got his hands on the ball that was used in the final out, and plans on auctioning it off to benefit his animal rescue organization. Sounds like a great cause and a great idea. It got me thinking, however, that with the retirement of Bob Barker, there is really no celebrity that immedietly comes to mind to step in as the main older male spokeman for animal rights. I am not an avid reader of magazines such as People, Us, or even Gawker, so I could be comepletely off base here, but as La Russa's first order of business as the best known older male celebrity who cares for animals, I think he should get one of his pitchers to chuck the 10,000 loss ball as hard as they could at Michael Vick. They would probably miss, though.

Cubs sweep Astros, 7-6
Recap: We were not the only team to get swept to start off the second half, as the Astros fell three consecutive times to the Cubs, who are now only 3.5 games back of the Brewers. Derrek Lee hit his first homerun in 126 at bats.

Hunter Pence Watch: Went 1-4 with a double and a run scored, lowering his average to .334.

Reds fall to Mets, 5-2

Recap: Good old Oliver Perez returned from the DL to pitch 6 decent innings. Lastings Milledge has contributed an RBI in every game now except for the first one since being called up to replace Julio Franco.

All You Need to Know: 7 days until players report to Steelers' training camp!

Your Comedy Central Standings on July 16th, 2007:

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