Saturday, June 16, 2007

We Will Find a New Ad Campaign

A big thanks to Don over at Mondesi's House and Tecmo_Bowl_Bo_Jackson at PSaMP for the links. Be sure to check out our other articles such as a Cleveland Browns Season Preview and a comparison of the Penguins to the Mighty Ducks movies. If you like what you see be sure to check back regularly at

We love our Pirates, but occasionally, like during the Yankees debacle, we don’t know why. One of the most frustrating things about the Pirates is the complete inability of the organization to admit it’s mistakes. They continue to manufacture excuses and reasons about why we should still have faith. The one that immediately jumps to mind is this gem from Littlefield about Daniel Moskos: "We've got the guy we want, really…”. I understand that paying 10 million dollars to a baseball prospect, such as Matt Wieters, is a very large risk, and I would support some sort of collusion by the owners of all the teams to agree not to deal with Scott Boras, no matter how illegal that may be. But couldn’t they have picked a prospect with a little higher ceiling? Someone who is not already destined to the bullpen?

We are reminded of the management's belief in their own stupidity every time we watch a Pirates game when one of those “We Will.” advertisements comes on. The insulting aspect of these ads is the final shot, where the Pirates claim that they will do something good, such as persevering or competing. This, however, is rarely the case. On the next page is a few of the “We Will” slogans, followed by what we here at Doubt About It believe they should really be telling us.

To save room we made the ads small, click on them for better resolution

This particular “We Will” campaign focuses on convincing the Pirates' faithful to vote for their favorite player in the All-Star balloting. It may have been wise, as they did last year, to focus on one or two players such as Bay or Freddy. Sadly, the commercial attempts to convince you to vote for ALL 8 starting position players. Please, raise your hand if you are going to vote for Jack Wilson. Instead, we propose the “We Will Save Our Bucks” campaign. Pirates fans can gather around the cause of not spending money to support an ownership group that clearly does not care for the fans while simultaneously doubling as the slogan of the McNutting ownership group.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. The only thing the Pirates usually bring to the game are a few bats and the ever-present feeling of impending doom. This way, they have realistic goals.

April 10th and 11th Torres blows two games of what would be a disastrous start to his season. May 19th, 7-2 lead over Arizona evaporates as the bullpen continues to falter. June 3rd and 6th, 4 run leads over the Dodgers and Nationals end up being 1-run losses thanks to two Torres gems. Yankee Stadium in front of three sold out crowds? Three horrible losses. The Pirates do not persevere. They wilt. They collapse. I can’t think of a truly great comeback win this entire season.

Pathetic but true, the Pirates drafting, other than when they take position players like Neil Walker and Andrew McCutchen, has been abysmal. The three starting pitchers who have the brightest futures, Gorzo, Duke(I’m being kind), and Snell, were drafted in the 2nd, 20th, and 26th round respectively. I can almost excuse all the arm injuries, shit happens after all, but the complete lack of understanding that pitchers are much harder to judge than hitters has lead to the organization having the same number of true impact position prospects as mascots. On the brightside, we are the only team in the majors with our entire starting rotation developed in our own system. A tiny victory and step in the right direction. The problem is 2 out of the 5 are a combined 6-15 with ERAs at or above 5, and while I’m excited about Van Benschoten, he still has to prove he belongs.

The players, manager, GM, and owners are all guilty of this. The players have committed more mental errors this year, the numerous times being thrown out at home or third immediately pops into mind, and just generally seem lackadaisical. Tracy never gets mad, and both he and Littlefield have seemed content about the current progress. Nutting is more worried about making sure there is enough snow at seven springs. And then the last game of the Yankees series, Jose Castillo started to play…and you could see the fire and tenacity that he was taking every at bat with. How happy he was to contribute and get back into the starting lineup. I was surprised and elated that Tracy decided to keep him in there and sit Jack for underperforming…if you’re going to call somebody out you better hold yourself to the same standards. And what happened when Jack got back into the lineup? He had a great game, with a defensive gem and a 2-4 night with 2 runs. This is what the players need more of, individual competition and accountability. The entire organization needs it, and maybe the first step would be to change the entire “We Will” ad campaign to one word:

Feel free to use these pictures on your blog, site, or messageboards...a link back to us, though, would be much appreciated! Want to make your own "We Will." slogan? Send your idea to and we'll send you the finished product as soon as possible.


tecmo said...

Funny stuff. Throwin up a link right now!

Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

A good parody of this pathetic marketing slogan is long overdue. Thanks for posting this piece.

Sadly, no one at the Pirates was smart enough to say, "A campaign slogan like this might open us up to a lot of ridicule."

Unknown said...

I agree, as does everyone I talk to, that this campaign makes no sense. When I first saw it I really didn't even get it....and when I did, I thought it was dumb. Were there no focus groups before this ran....?