Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Portland Trailblazers are on the Clock: Littlefield and Nutting at the Helm




With the NBA draft a little more than a week away I thought it would be nice to check in on the thought process of your very own Dave Littlefield and Robert Nutting, NBA style.

Nutting: What are we looking at this year Dave?
Littlefield: Two can't miss players Bob, but we can add a presence at both ends of the floor by choosing Greg Oden.
Nutting: But why not Kevin Durant?
Littlefield: We like Kevin Dur...
Nutting: How bout Daequan Cook? He was part of that amazing Thad Five...
Littlefield: You know what Bob, Daequan just might be the answer...
Nutting: No it's genious...
Littlefield: We get a future 6th man while saving ourselves plenty of money. We can even channel the extra money into player development.
Nutting: A great farm system is key...Without a salary cap it's the only way we can compete in this market.
Mark the Office Intern: You do know the NBA has a salary cap...
Nutting: You know nothing about this league we call the NBA...How much are we paying you?? Who even hired you?
Littlefield: I hired him Bob... what do you make again Mark?
Mark the Office Intern: $10.00 an hour.
Nutting: Dave, Didn't I tell you to talk to me before adding payroll?

Littlefield: I did not think paying Mark $10.00 an hour would affect our payroll.
Nutting: Nonsense. Mark if you want to keep your job, consider this internship unpaid.
Mark the Office Intern: I knew this would end up happening...
(under his own breath): $10.00 an hour was too good to be true from you tights wads...
Nutting: Anyways Dave, why don't we consider putting Daeqaun in the minors for a few years....Build a feeling of false-hope for our fans. Talk to our Marketing department ASAP ...and make sure they look into a "Daequan is on the Way!" campaign.
Mark the Office Intern: This isn't baseball !!! There is no farm team!!! We have a Developmental league...no one sends their first round pick there!!!
Nutting: Mark, consider yourself unemployed. Mr. Burnitz, can you please see it that Mark finds the door.
Dave: Jeromy?
Nutting: I've hired Jeromy as my new body guard.
Jeromy Burnitz: I couldn't turn down $7 million a year...
Dave: I know Jeremy... (smiling)
Mark the Office Intern: If I'm gonna get fired atleast Jeromy Beer-nutz, the $7 million dollar man himself, is gonna lead me out. What a joke this place is...fire me and my $10.00 an hour but spend $7 million dollars on one of this leagues biggest bumbs...Firing me was your biggest mistake!! I'm not ranked #1 in my Harvard class for nothing!!!

Nutting: Anyway Dave, lets not let rankings get in the way of our opinions.
Littlefield: I agree Bob, I look forward to adding Daequan as our newest Trail Blazer next week.

End of Post

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