Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Max Talbot's Offseason Workout Plan



So Max Talbot somehow finagled his way into the World Series of Poker. Karma seems to have played a part, as I don't remember anyone else sacrificing his body quite as much to block shots on the penalty kill. Obviously, I know who Penguins' fans are rooting for, but my dream final match up would go something like this:

It is down to the final two at the 2007 World Series of Poker, with both players vying for the 10 million dollars. Pittsburgh Penguin Maxime Talbot has the higher chip stack, but his opponent, Bill Simmons the Sports Guy, is not far behind…


Bill Simmons: So the last time I was in Vegas with JBug, House and the rest of my boys, we sat down at a blackjack table with this dealer who was literally Mariano Rivera and a 13 out of 10 on the unintentional comedy scale. I split aces and ended up with 17 and 18, which is the poor man’s 19 and 20 and a hobo’s double blackjack. I would talk about more inappropriate things but I can’t fight off the 10,000 volts of electricity running through my body which is an awfully peculiar way of saying I work for a national media conglomerate and don’t have total freedom of speech. But since we’re talking about it, Paula from the Real World has officially lost me and entered the Tyson Zone, Reggie Cleveland All-Stars, and...

Colby Armstrong comes out of nowhere and decks Simmons, knocking him out of the tournament. Colby, who was injured on the hit, then gets pummeled by Sheldon Souray.

Max:
Nice hit, Army!

Talbot is then declared the victor and uses the money to help pay for the mega contracts Geno and Staal will be receiving in a couple of years.

To be honest with you, I'm a big fan of Bill's witing and hope he does well, but not as good as Max. We'll be monitoring Talbot's status throughout, hoping that he can bring glory to the French Canadian people.

End of Post

2 comments:

Pat said...

Haha, I saw this in the paper earlier today but I didnt have time to make a post. this was funnier than anything I have have said though. I love the "he was LITERALLY mariano rivera".

Sean said...

So how does Talbot make it to the World Series of Poker, but Jagr does not?