Monday, June 25, 2007

Comedy Central Report, 6/25

Borrowing from the media’s name for the National League Central, the Comedy Central Report is a daily feature which recaps all the previous day’s games in which a central team played. Keep track of all six teams vying for the most mediocre division title in baseball.

Pirates get swept by Angels, lose 5-4
Recap: The Pirates continue their ineptitude, as they drop their fifth straight game. Matt Capps let up the winning ground-rule double. Twice the Pirates had the bases loaded and could only capitalize for one run.

All You Need to Know: The 5 game losing streak they are currently on is beginning to look reminiscent of the season crushing 13 game losing streak from last year. The only difference is that its coming about a week later. The single bright spot to come out of the weekend was a fired up Ian Snell, who came out with an expletive filled speech after the 10-1 loss on Saturday.

Ian Snell, happy in this picture, not so much on Saturday.

Royals Quell Prince and Brewers 4-3
Recap: Prince Fielder only entered the game in the 9th inning, but it was too late. Yovani Gallardo pitched another strong game in only his 2nd start

All You Need to Know: Even the Brewers have trouble getting people off the bases, as they went a combined 0-9 with runners in scoring position.

Cubs stay home, but not really, shutout White Sox 3-0
Recap: Alfonso Soriano is actually beginning to play like he was supposed to, going 3-5 with a homerun. Sean Marshall picked up the win.

All You Need to Know: Ozzie Guillen was thrown out of the game for arguing an interference call on Juan Uribe. The great part about it was the explanation for throwing Guillen out from umpire Joe West, who said Ozzie acted respectful then asked to be thrown out: "He got two outs and he ended up getting no outs and that's why Ozzie said, 'You're just going to have to run me." When your team is 5-23 in their last 28 games, I wouldn’t want to be there either.

Phillies defeat Cardinals, 5-1
Recap: Kip Wells, back in the starting rotation! And he actually pitched decently, allowing only 1 run over a long 5 innings of work due to a rain delay. But of course, in their attempt to keep pace with the Pirates, the Cardinals could find no offense.

Cardinals Stat of the Day: Your Cardinals’ starters over the past 5 games with their ERAs in parentheses: Kip Wells (6.45), Adam Wainright (4.58), Anthony Reyes (6.64), Todd Wellemeyer (6.45), and Brad Thompson (4.86). Their record over those 5 games? 3-2.

Astros Outlast Rangers, 12-9
Recap: Hunter Pence and Lance Berkman each hit homeruns, but the bullpen of the Astros almost blew the game. Old Pirate Rick White had an impressive line of 0 IP, 2 H, 2 ER. Craig Biggio saved the day, hitting an RBI double which would break the tie in the 10th.

All You Need to Know: Countdown until Biggio becomes a staple on the Houston bench? 4 hits.

Mariners beat Reds, 3-2
Recap: Ken Griffey Jr. returned to his mid-90s form, slapping two homeruns to pass Mark McGwire on the all-time list. Finally, 7th place on the all-time homerun list is no longer tainted by steroids! Rejoice!

All You Need to Know: The Reds still found a way to lose even with Griffey’s homeruns. Over the weekend, they dropped to last place in the majors.

Your Comedy Central Standings on June 20th, 2007:

End of Post

1 comment:

Jordan Staal said...

It's about time someone show some emotion. Last week I saw Adam Laroche walk up to the plate with the barrel nested on his shoulder, look at three straight strikes, and walk back to the plate with the bat in the same place and the same retarded look on his face. Wait, I take that back, calling Adam Laroche retarded is an insult to retarded ppl, he shouldn't even be considered a dumb person. young adam is like an oozing spunge, sopping up papyroll and just getting in the way of Jack Wilson's ability to field line drives in yankee stadium